The problem or evil genius of social media is that it feeds off the primeval need built into humans – the need to be accepted. From what little understanding I have on the topic, humans evolved with a clan mentality – the more people the safer you were from beasts and such. Living in a community of many people means that we adapted that feel good emotion when we are accepted by others, when we are seen as part of the group. In a real group this bond in strengthened by physical, verbal and visual contact. This also means that if we offend someone or lose a friend we feel more vulnerable (some of us, at least).
With social media you don’t have that physical contact. As I mentioned before, I have some…abandonment issues. These issues make me sensitive to other’s reactions in a desire not to offend them or make them leave me. In real life, this is fairly easy to fix. I can ring someone, visit them but on the internet there is only one way – text and messaging. There is no facial recognition of your words, there is no way to express the inclination of what you are saying. As such, if you are talking to someone a lot and then they cease talking to you there is no real way of knowing if they’re giving you the cold shoulder for something your said or just busy with other things. Some people don’t check their messages for days so you can imagine it gets me pretty paranoid.
Anyway, it’s also a lot easier to keep tabs on how many people you ~should~ be talking to or who should be talking to you. It’s easier to realize that, hey, this person isn’t talking to me any more.
As you can guess this rant was caused by another blow out on twitter. I’m guessing some of them are getting pretty sick of my sheit right now. I think this is why i need a break from twitter once a week. I also have this thing where I try to check all the twitter feeds of my followers but I have 78 odd followers now so it’s taking up a hell of a lot of time….oh look now I have 80. Point is it takes hours for me to get through them all. I love giving attention to these people, making them feel like they matter, but I’ll need to change my tactic if I’m going to keep it up. It’s starting to feel like a job but I love it! I’ve been introduced to a few interesting things since I started and the conversations people are always interesting, humorous or give me hope in humanity. If I could make this into my occupation I would be set, even if I don’t get enough money to pay for much more but internet.
I suppose my aim with this is to use this social media as a tool for making people feel safe in a community. I don’t want them to feel like they’ve done anything wrong towards me because I haven’t been talking to them for a day. I suppose the other thing is I want them to feel appreciated.
Anyway, I’ll probably change this again later but for now it’s done.
Another reason for my blow out is I have a new job but i feel inadequacy at it and it takes me away from my twitter followers. I feel guilty for leaving them if they need me (or if I want attention) *sigh* I suppose i’d just have to get used to it either way.