Can’t sleep. Dreams will eat me.

First off Merry Christmas and to all a good day 🙂

With that out of the way it’s 1.51am and I can’t sleep because my imagination is running me ragged. Seems like I’ve always had a pretty wild imagination but right now it’s sending me a little nuts.

You ever had one of those irrationally strong crushes on an actor or a story character? Lordy I’m hating them right now. Why can I not obsess over anything other than people I find attractive? I’ve always been a bit jealous of nerds and geeks because they can remember so much about things and become absorbed in something. But then there’s me, creepy stalker me who’s tempted to send just one fan email…and I forgot something so I’d better send another one…but, wait, now I have this great picture I drew of this person in this movie and I’m sure they’d be thrilled to see it. And so on.

Luckily I’ve managed to stop myself from doing this…which is why I’m writing this blog – to convince myself that writing anything else is a baaad idea. I’d usually post on Facebook or Twitter but I’m starting to see that as a horrid downward spiral to ‘You know what, everybody? I really like *blank*. He’s so funny and smart and I find him kind of attractive and the numbers all add up!’ Never a good idea, ladies and gentlemen. One way ticket to sleeping with a life sized pillow and hiding in bushes. Not to mention I’m in a long distance relationship which makes me feel really guilty for thinking that ‘such and such’ is so dreamy among other things <.<

Seriously, how do other fan girls live with themselves and stay sane? I’ve only had feelings this strong a few times and they usually fade after a while so I’m a bit inexperienced. I kind of doubt other fan girls would have the ‘numbers’ infatuation, though. I really hope they change by tomorrow. My number is 4. I notice 4’s. My current boyfriend had a range of 4’s around him so up until tonight I was saying ‘don’t worry, *blank* doesn’t really have any 4’s’ but tonight I’ve started seeing them. I really hope I stop noticing them tomorrow and beyond.

Um, I suppose this is just a rant post today. Felt I needed to get it off my chest. To follow up my comment about ‘only being obsessed with people’ I’ve had crushes, minor and ones like this, ever since I was 3. In grade 12 I had a crush in every class. Agh.


Crushes and people obsessions are nothing but dreams, really. You don’t know that person directly and you generally only see good things about them to it’s easy to make them into some kind of god. Not to mention not having my boyfriend around makes me feel really lonely…

Anyway, if anyone has any suggestions on how to get over someone quick I’d love to know. It’s not good for me or them or anyone around me. Floating on air is nice but feet should be on the ground.


I’ll try to write a proper Christmas post tomorrow or when the rest of the world catches up.



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